A Sun lover has few places he can go in the winter time for relief. Our son, Tim, and his girlfriend had a great solution by going to Florida last month. While listening to their stories after picking them up at the airport I could almost feel the warm sunshine, the ocean breeze, and yes, the magic of Disney pulsating through my entire body. I was very happy that they had a great time though somewhat jealous. Our time will come. We are just in a different season right now.
It is still dark when I leave in the morning and usually dark by the time I get home. Except Fridays, I try to start a little later and end a little earlier. 6 more weeks of winter. And only 4 until the days get markedly warmer and longer.
A love of mine from almost a decade ago was running. Although I doubt I will ever get back to my Triathlon days, I decided to get back into running. Running is actually a bit of a stretch as my pace is more the speed of a fast walker. Nonetheless, running it is what I do since I don't always have one foot on the ground. I exercise about 4 days a week and quickly reminded that running is good for you in so many ways - cardiovascularly, blood pressure and blood sugar, and the best of all mentally. That runner's high is a great feeling.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year to All. Sometimes I worry too much. As if worrying is going to change events. I worry about cash flow, insurance, home and car maintenance. I don't worry too much about work and my health although I often think I need to be at the "top of my game". And I often think about how I can better contribute in the day to day care that Laura requires. Laura's main source of care is Darlene who is an excellent caregiver, mother, and wife.
23 years ago, Darlene's grandmother had a picture in her kitchen with the caption "Worry is like a rocking chair, it keeps you busy but never gets you anywhere." I'll never forget that saying. In one sense worry is good - since it shows you areas that require attention and thought. However, if I never get up out of the "rocking chair" and do something about it, I'll never go anywhere[better].
So it dawned on me last month that one way I could contribute would be to facilitate Darlene getting out of the house and have some personal time. But this is not as simple as it seems. The bond between Laura and her Mom is so strong that she doesn't want anyone else (I don't take it personally). In my analytic way of thinking, I put that facts out in front of me: (1) Darlene wants to go to the gym again. and (2) Laura used to love going to the YMCA every December, registering for their "12 days of fitness" program, and earning a specially designed t-shirt.
So I combined the two. While talking with Darlene and Laura one night I suggested that Darlene go to the YMCA in December, and in honor of Laura, go 12 times to earn a shirt and give it Laura. Laura was agreeable to this which made it easier for Darlene. She could now leave the house 12 times during the month for an hour at a time while knowing Laura was OK with her absence. During those times, which were often in the evening or weekends, I stayed home and was on call for Laura.
Yesterday, the 31st of the month, Darlene went to the gym for the 12th time and was rewarded with a nicely designed shirt signifying her accomplishment. Laura likes the shirt and hopefully one day soon Laura will get word from Hopkins that it's ok for her to go to YMCA like she had in the past.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
For the past 4 years I've been getting together with a friend of mine for coffee every Wednesday morning. What began as a 7:00 am start time has turned into a 6:15 am start time. We get together to go over life issues including past, present and future. In a weird way, every time we get together I'm reminded that I'm not the only one going through challenges and better yet, I'm not the only one who wants to become a better man. Even better yet: I don't have to do this alone.
My vocation defines the talent I have which someone is willing to pay me for. But when I'm at a party and someone asks me what do you do for a living should I answer with a job title as if that defines who I am as a person? Or should I say: I am husband of 28 years to my wife Darlene, I have 3 grown children, I'm a carpenter, gardener and lawn maintenance technician, mechanic, personal shopper, laundry boy, dishwasher, financial and insurance consultant, and general helper. After all, that IS what I do for a living.
And when I am at my vocation during the day, Darlene does those same chores and more. Today I took the day off of work though my weekly coffee continued. So after the coffee I met up with yet some other friends, then went grocery shopping, came home and cleaned the kitchen, made Darlene her favorite coffee with hazelnut flavoring, "covered" for Darlene when she went to the gym, and started a load of laundry. I'm about to start some Quaker Oats "Dinosaur Oatmeal" for Laura.
That's who I really am.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Just another typical night. I stayed home in the evening while Darlene took a break and went to the gym. When she returned, it was my turn to run some necessary errands such as going to Target for medicine and going to Nothern Pharmacy for supplies. I got home about 9:00, talked with Darlene about the days highlights. Laura had received a Christmas card from a friend of mine which I handed to her after explaining the connection. Lights out at 11:20pm
Saturday, December 17, 2011
I’ve spent a few hours today updating this site and in a way, taking care of myself. The more I talk about this, the greater peace and joy I have in spite of our circumstances. If I don’t talk about this I would put unnecessary strain on my body, soul, and spirit. Further I would risk irreparable harm to my marriage of 28 years and the way I interact with Laura and our other two children. I’d become a mean old, and lonely grouch.
There’s no perfect “first” public comment so this is just a start – I’m sure it will get a lot easier over time.
It’s one week before Christmas and in all I see and experience, and in many cases in spite of those same experiences, Darlene and I are truly blessed. Yes, life is extremely challenging and tiring. But I feel the support, compassion, and thoughtfulness of my neighbors, friends and family, co-workers, and our church. And for that I am grateful.
No comments:
Post a Comment